Death sucks. And the day will come when you find yourself wanting and needing to say something about someone special to you. You should be so lucky that the deceased lived a long full live. Of course that is not always the case and tragic deaths do happen too often. Rexx Manly is not about to tell you rules of what to say when. Each of us deserve to express our own personal thoughts in a time of grief without judgment. But having seen his fair share of life and death, here are some observations, bits and pieces that may help you come to terms with your words as you prepare to draft your speech. For deaths of people under the age of say, 60, you have the right to choke up and bawl your eyes out. That is the “it just isn’t fair” territory. For over 50 but under 75 you have the right to get choked up, pour you heart out. But there is a good chance this person lived to see grandchildren. And compared to the under 60, they at least were not cheated out of that. So, consider that when you reflect. There is a difference between being called out in the middle of the game…and having played well into the 4th quarter. And finally, there is the over 75. And yes, losing daddy or mommy at 75 plus is still….losing Daddy or Mommy. But at that age you should be looking to celebrate a life so full. A decent amount of sadness is expected and should be expressed but a tone of celebration of the life needs to be emphasized. Lets face it. The deceased is not listening to your words. Spiritually they are. But in reality this speech will enter the hearts of all in attendance. What you want to do is channel the qualities of your loved one into the hearts of all in the room. Leave everyone with a piece of that persons life they can take with them as a lesson. Let their life have been worth something to humanity. It’s their final honor. Not all of us get a 21 gun salute and a flag of our nation folded neatly by an honor guard. But if you loved someone, your words should aim to achieve all those things. Keep it classy. A humorous aside or two is fine (more appropriate for the non tragic over 50 death). But end on a high note. Do that and you did that person right. That’s all that matters. Finally, keep it under 5 minutes. Anything longer starts to get self serving. You are not being honored by the Raccoon Lodge as man of the year. You are a messenger and should walk up and off with humility and respect for the person everyone came to say goodbye to.
It used to be unless you owned the 5.0 liter, the Mustang was a waste of time. Now, Ford has finally cracked the mold on its iconic American muscle machine and installed 300 horses in the new 2011 V6. Considering a 2011 BMW 328 has 230, you can buy driving happiness for a good 10,000 to 15,000 grand less…and still get heated seats. The other great design upgrade is the silhouette of the machine. No longer stout and chunky, the nose been elongated and the entire body appears to be carved out of an elegant block of steel…especially if you go with the silver or grey exterior. Heads are turning with the new 2011 V6. And this may be the best mustang commercial ever. Choice of music. Editing. On screen graphics. Need car insurance? One word. Chubb. Nuff said.
This post is for the future. One day we will read this again and ask the multi million dollar question. Did Lebron choose the right team? Or did he make a business decision? If he was trying to define himself as the “next thing” wouldn’t the real balls move be to lead a team as its star? Not buddy up to assure wins and continued support from his sponsors. The reality is the guy has yet to deliver the goods and he has tatts and nicknames one usually earns rather than bestows one oneself. (Then again we are in the age of entitlement where every kid under 25 thinks he should run the company after a summer internship and that since he “gets” what an iPhone can do he is clearly CEO material.) Let Lebron think what he wants. When he comes to the garden, he’ll have to deal with NEW YORK. And heaven knows with NYC you gotta earn it.
Seems these days we expect Marisa Tomei to show skin. With all her small films like”Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead” and “The Wrestler”, she brings the heat. Not so in Cyrus. But that doesn’t mean you should punt. Cyrus is a good midweek summer night flik. Watching John C. Reilly go up against Jonah Hill is worth the 8, 9 or 10 bucks and an hour and half of your precious time. The comedy is actually more real than the stuff you see in “Step Brothers” or “Superfad”. This story of a man who comes into the life of a mother and son relationship explores all the aspects of the issue and pushes it to some dark humor that is just the right kind of cool to render it a solid piece of entertainment. That said, if you have not rented “Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead”, put it on your list and have a happy summer.
This is your chance not to think about tomorrow. No one is getting ahead of you. Business, clients, co-workers, everyone is in the J4 weekend state of mind so don’t let this opportunity pass you by. If you didn’t get your 9 holes in this am move on to step 2. Get your beach gear ready. You need a solid sandwich, bag of chips and cold soda locked down before you leave the house. For your brain…grab the Sunday newspaper, an ESPN Magazine..whatever you do don’t let your significant other con you into reading a book. It doesn’t work. A. It doesn’t allow you that mindless flexibility to lift your eyes up to see the action (if you can sift thru all the cellulite). B. It doesn’t allow you to jump off the bench for a football throw when one of your boys give the call for the “let’s show everyone we still got it” spiral showdown. At about 4:30 you should be starting to feel the sense of urgency building up in your tenderloins as you contemplate firing up the grill for your epic burger extravaganza. A wise man has already purchased his supplies in the am. A rookie is easily exposed when he does not have a lime. Don’t be that guy. Your grilling starts by getting your dog roasted til the skin bursts a bit and then it is on to the Guldens Spicy Brown Mustard on a soft bun. Chase that with your first ice cold Corona. You better have a time limit set on your grilling exploits cause a J4 weekend without a flick is unamerican. Happy 4th. Rexx.
Yo Alan- It’s hard not to feel something when Woody and his buddies are in trouble. Or when Andy meets the little girl who loves to play the way he did. No doubt, there are some tear jerkers but that doesn’t mean you should crumble like a little girl in front of your kids. If you feel the water building up in your eyeball immediately look above the screen, removing the image from the center of your retina. You should feel an instant sense of drainage as the water pressure drops. Next, don’t blink. A blink will release that one tear that shows your little man he is sitting with a baby not his Daddy. Keep your head locked straight ahead until you have regained your composure. If you absolutely can’t keep your shit together, lift your hand to your face index finger on temple, thumb under cheekbone and use your palm to absorb some of the wetness. Whatever you do, DO NOT wipe your eyes with a full hand or worse, the back of your arm. Your job is to me a man to all under 4 foot 10, remember that.
Yo Jerry- It’s not like you are training the next Tiger Woods (yes we can still emulate his athletic prowess) on the windmill or the loop d loop. Mini Golf should have a more mini attitude. That said, when you have par 2 and 3…don’t be puttin up 4′s and 5′s. Have a little self respect and sink em like a man.
Dad needs one day when he is king. And this starts as soon as he opens his eyes Sunday am. King is being served breakfast in bed by your loyal slaves. Every man needs to teach his son or daughter how make a perfect omelette. This should be muscle memory by age 10. If the kid is really good, you should expect sauted portobello mushrooms in that baby. A Thomas Whole Wheat Muffin toasted dark with butter. A tall glass of Tropicana. And a cup of Joe, little milk and one sugar. Next, is what I like to call “The Presentation of Gifts”. The royal treatment continues with the offering of card, that were hopefully written a day before instead of 10 minutes ago in the bathroom en route to the royal quarters. A card should have a thoughtful paragraph on how Dad is the best Dad in the world. The cards should be followed by the showcase showdown. No less than 3 gifts should approach the throne as Dad reclines on his pillows coming to life with happiness from the cards and a good amount of caffeine running through his system. At least one of the items should be golf related. Everything from a great new hat to glasses to a shirt is appreciated. Of course extra points are scored with the offering of a holy staff. A nice Taylor Made #3 Rescue could put the loyal subjects in a good light for many Sundays to come. Finally, No Dad’s day would be complete without a bbq. You can’t go wrong with some rib eye with a simple rub. Of course, a well done dog on a soft bun with Guldens Spicey Brown washed down by an ice cold Rolling Rock is the way to kick things off. Lastly, a pot of Heinz Baked Beans can put the day over the top. Sleep well Dad.
Just when I thought all hope was lost on the kind of film you can teach a boy about being a man (recently hijacked by special effect, 3D glasses wearing producers) along comes a remake that stays true to its heart. And that is the important point here. Jackie Chan is full of heart as little Jaden Smith rises to the level of competitive ass kicker. The films has many human moments for both actors to emote and let the audience in on their pain. Stuff you can create in a computer. Real tears hit the screen as the death of loved one’s plays an important role in shaping these two into who they become. And who do they become? Little man turns into an ass kicking Kung-Fu machine taking down all comers like Mortal Kombat for midgets. But it’s not without learning some valuable life lessons along the way.
With Hollywood cranking out paint by number family movies and remakes of the 80′s done with whiz bang special effect additions, it’s tough to find the one thing that makes taking a kid to the movies worth it. Heart. If you feel like watching something that has lasting value, sit your kids down to The Original Bad News Bears. A movie that has heart and soul and relies on the one thing that makes a movie memorable. Great actors moving through a story with real emotions rather than contrived or convenient lines to get them from scene to scene. Case in point. When Tatum O’neal hurts her arm, she has a chance to connect on a deeper level with the coach Walter Matthau. She talks about how it would be great if he and her Mom could go out to dinner and do fun things. Matthau wants no part of it andcalls himself a bum. It is right at this moment Tatum digs down deep and tries to help Matthau see past his belief. “You taught me to pitch”….WHAM!!!! Matthau chucks beer in her gorgeous adorable face. It’s pathetic and pretty much the most gut wrenching scene you will see in a family movie. (It comes at 1:07:38) And that’s what makes it great. No motion control camera or some kid spinning in the air in slo-mo. The heart is pumping here and it costs nothing but a good piece of acting. This is the stuff of movies. Marmaduke should stay in a comic strip where it belongs.
A hamburger is a way of reconnecting with what matters. You can’t eat a blackberry or iphone if you know what I’m sayin. A hamburger never goes out of style. It defines this great nation in one bite, washed down with an ice cold Coke. So how does one really appreciate a hamburger? By waiting to be invited to a summer BBQ where you may fill up on guac and chips before you tear into the seared beef of the eve. No. You go to supermarket and buy the construction materials to put up your own round house of carnivore satisfaction. Go to the butcher and ask for a pound of ground beef. Don’t go too lean. Mix the beef with one half of a beaten raw egg, garlic powder, salt and black pepper. Don’t be afraid to make your patty big as it will shrink down on the grill. Grill on high heat and turn over when the grill marks are clearly charred across your burgers surface. Now, what to put on the burger? Place the burger on the lower part of the bun. Squeeze Heinz Ketchup on the face of the burger. Spread a half of tablespoon of Hellman’s Real Mayo across the bun. Add a beefsteak tomato slice to the top of the burger. Some iceberg lettuce as well. Close up the deal and go. It doesn’t get much better than that.
It had all the elements of Rocky and for a good 15 minute window many us were shuttering with excitement, fear, adrenaline and wide eyed grins at the spectacle. Yuri Foreman WAS Rocky Balboa and Cotto was Apollo Creed. It started with the dramatic fall. A fall that could put Stallone to shame. A brave Foreman stood up with his spaghetti leg and continued to bob and weave fighting for his life. Cotto the hunter was just waiting for his moment to kill, chasing Foreman into the ropes pretty much every round. And then it came again. Spaghetti legs scene #2, although this time Foreman looked like a Knick City Dancer doing a split. It was gut wrenching to see a warrior so compromised. Yet he stood up again and went for Cotto with what he had left. Two hands and no feet. A towel thrown raised the ante as act three kicked into high gear. The final resolution was near. And not a soul in the house or TV land could predict what would end the misery. A mighty left hook to Foreman’s side (seen in instant replay as a punch that collapsed Foreman’s entire abdominal region worse than any piece of hanging meat Rocky ever clocked) completely compromised Foremans stability and his legs buckled like a toddler falling back with a smelly dump in his pants. Gut wrenching. Brave. Courageous. Bloody. Yuri Foreman showed he was not just boxing…he was fighting. Fighting for his life. The wall of entertainment was broken. This was the raw human condition on display. A man’s entire soul ablaze on flat screens across the world. A lesson to all who bitch about not being able to get something done. Shut up and fight. Your heart is all you got.
Smoothie ain’t exactly the manliest of words. But if a guy wants to order a shake that doesn’t bloat his gut out and load him up with butterfat, air and calories…smoothie is the current guy word for “shake that does not harm”. As mentioned before by Rexx Manly, the perfect food according to Dr. Oz is…the blueberry. If you find yourself in NYC near 57th street, check out the juice and smoothie bar at The Great American Health Bar. It’s it neither great nor American but it is good and on an 80 plus degree balmy humid day the blend of blueberries, strawberries, skim milk and vanilla yogurt can provide you with enough energy and chill to withstand being trapped between stations in a non AC Subway car.
Rexx- So, Michael…word is Megan Fox is out. Done. No biggie. She was a pain in the ass. She is not talented. Just candy you placed on the screen to get teens in seats.
Bay- She was way more than candy. She was really good at….at…
Rexx- Looking hot humping a motorcycle in her opening scene?
Bay- She ran really..straight and stuff.
Rexx- So she’s hot AND she runs straight. So is an Ethiopian in the NYC marathon on a hot October day.
Bay- We’re thinking of casting Iman. You know David Bowies wife.
Rexx- Did you just pull that out of your ass since I said Ethiopian and hot in the same sentence?
Bay-What? Are you saying that I just made a casting decision based on your lowly aside in our boring conversation? Do you know who I am. Do you know what my vision has grossed globally to date?
Rexx- You’re right. I should never question the masters casting acumen..Ben Affleck in Pearl Harbor.
We’ve all seen the smoking tot. The little kid on the toy truck who looks like Tattoo from Fantasy Island,-only problem is this ain’t no fantasy. Medical experts who have seem this kid give him less than 5 years to live. Couldn’t he have picked up a less dangerous vice like surfing YouPorn or jumping subway turnstiles for kicks? And what about us Americans? Are we gonna just stand by and watch this kid die. Where is Clooney? Playing basketball with Matt Damon on Lake Como and splitting Pizza at the Villa Deste? We got a fat kid chain smoking people and all we are doing is file sharing and making jokes on late night TV. Angela Jolie what’s your excuse? You got miles, lots of miles. Hop a flight and whip some sense into these people. And bring a baby or three and show this chubby child what a football looks like. We got a potential nose tackle in the making. And you may just get a great story out of it. Your friend Sandra won an Oscar for caring for a chunky one. Are your wheels turning yet. Clooney, make a phone call. Get SOMEONE on it. We are the nation that sets the example for the world. Don’t fly your flag on your lawn this weekend til you take care of this. Cal Wham-O and send this kid a case of bubbles. He seems to have an oral fixation and loves the sight of his smoke rising out of his blow hole. Trust me on this one.
There is a diff between “being the man” and being a man. Clearer LeBron is “the man” in the NBA. Even though he is out as Kobe fights on, all eyes are clearly focused on the post season moves of “the chosen one”. You can even visit the Nike store on 57th st. in NYC and see a life size replica of LeBron hands extended to the sky like Moses parting the sea. How authentic is this replica? The same tattoo artist who painted LeBron was commissioned to paint this replica tat for tat. But tattoo’s and lifelike replica’s aside, who defines manliness in the NBA? The vote goes to Steve Nash. Who else can snap their broken nose back into place on live television and hop back into the game as if his shoelace was untied. No drama Nash.
Does someone who gets 500k per episode on TV really die? C’mon. We got DVD sets to sell this holiday season. We got syndication and we got the biggest kahuna of em all…a movie in development. The fact is, the head butting, beer drinking, camel smoking, fist swinging, room trashing Kiefer is a guy who won in Hollywood on his own terms. Who else gets to be remembered for saving a President and entire cities the way this guy does. No one since old school black and white Superman suited up for this much action on a weekly basis. Keifer deserves a rest for his work in helping us escape once a week over the last few years. A rest. Not a death. Kiefer doesn’t die.
Spade knows how to work it. His “it” is his ability to get us to cheer for him by playing characters who appear dim witted but secretly have the brain power to blow up any challenger. Case in point, Joe Dirt. You can’t go much lower than Joe Dirt. Which is Spade’s point. A guy who has no family, schooling or friends uses the charm of his mullet and good nature to survive and take on all comers…like Kid Rock. The man is a master. And he’s a skilled swordsman as well. The amusement park scene is classic Spade workin his “never seem a gym” body and landing the hottest girl in the scene. His sister. See this movie to explain my last remark.
In a blockbuster summer of cutting edge CGI special effects it’s amazing to take a look at visual achievement when we never even had the calculator. Nothing shows Hollywood ingenuity better than the climactic hook and ladder scene from the comedy classic “It’s a Mad Mad World”. You have models, stop motion, mattes, miniatures and the go-to Universal Studios back lot. Watch the movie from the beginning though when you get a chance. The who’s who of American comedy royalty doesn’t fail to deliver.
OK. Maybe one of these things is not like the other. Rexx Manly has nothing to do with any of these names except for the fact that Fred Flintstone is a cartoon and I’m a drawing on the top of the page. The point of all these names is to show that heavy set heads of household with numskull dreams seem to be crowd pleasers every TV generation. Crazy thing is Gleason and Griffin have similar body types. Would be awesome to see these three in a single episode. Fathers Day is coming. Be a nice gift Seth.
If you were smart enough to sit through all the closing credits of Iron Man 2, you were treated to sneak preview of the start of Thor. Marvel is pulling out all the stops these days by green lighting films based on every kick ass comic book hero in their stable. Who would have thought Iron Man had this much flexibility in his suit? Sneak into the ending of Iron Man 2 next time you hit the theater. The Thor teaser is better than most movies.
Eggs or Pancakes. It’s Sunday. It’s all good. Get yourself a griddle top and cover two burners on your stove. You got Pancakes working first. Go all out. Choco chip to Blueberry. Done. Put a pat of butter down and you are sunny-side up in less than a minute. Want to kick it up a notch? Grab a can of potatoes and chop em up with paprika, salt, pepper and a diced onion. Throw it on the griddle with a little olive oil and you got poor man’s home fries. Do it all. It’s Sunday. And as uncle Sheldon says “Life is not a dress rehearsal”.
At rexxmanly.com one of our most exciting subjects is discussing those of us who are Monkey Men. Dudes with fur. Yeti with Blackberry. Bigfoot Mofo’s. Hairy Assman. Hairy Backman. Hairy S. Truman. The list goes on. You know who you are and you know who we are talking about. It’s now May 201o heading into Beach and Pool season. It’s official. Woman look at back hair as a curse and cringe at the thought of getting caught up in the wool. It’s time to make sure you and no one close to you will be guilty of carrying this clearly debilitating curse. Hint…Vampires are in..Werewolves? That movie sucked wind.
Rexx Manly doesn’t pretend to know it all.
His thoughts are not based on any scientific research.
Rexx Manly Doesn’t
Parachute, Bungee Jump, Tree Ski or Drink and Drive. Manliness is about living and living to tell about it.
Just strong, guy's guy opinion with a heavy musk scent of confidence
and conviction.
Rexx did not ask to be a Manvisor, GuyGuru or Dude Sherpa. The gods of Manliness found him sitting on a park bench at 1:45PM
in downtown New York City eating a Meatball Parm and told him it was time guys got their balls back.
He answered the calling.
